Tidying Up
by tectrices
Summary: Remus/Sirius, prompt: domesticity.  Remus tries to clean.  Sirius tries to distract him with stories of his latest conquest.  Turns out, the interruption wasn't what was bothering Remus.


"And _then_," Sirius said, tossing a balled-up pair of socks into the air, "you'll never guess what she said then."

"No, I'm sure I won't," Remus said irritably, straightening up James' bed. He'd been simply fed up with the state of the dorm. Maybe the other boys didn't mind living in a state of utter chaos, but that was _not_ his cup of tea. The house elves had apparently just given up on them entirely and Remus was not sure he could really blame them. And James had meant it as a smart remark, saying that while he was on a cleaning kick Remus might as well make his bed up, as well. Remus felt strangely vindicated at doing just that.

Sirius, however, felt no need to help him and was still recounting his lascivious exploits – though Remus was sure he had made it _quite clear_ that he was not interested.

"We'd gotten up to that broom closet near the Charms classroom - you know the one, yeah?"

"I'm not sorry to say I don't, actually."

"Ooh, that's right – wouldn't be proper to visit there, would it, Moony?" Though Remus couldn't see it, he could hear the grin curling across Sirius' face and he fluffed James' pillow with more force than was strictly necessary, his brows furrowed and his jaw clenched. "You can't blame me, though. Not really."

"Let me guess. Gorgeous. Funny. She's the new love of your life. Just as… what was her name? The girl from Ravenclaw last week." And there had been two girls before the week before that. "_Really_, Pads."

Sirius laughed and tossed his socks up again, turning on his side to watch Remus as he cleaned. He kicked absently at the bed curtain with the toe of his foot. He caught the socks and spun them on the bed, still wearing a playful grin. "If only I wasn't so damned popular."

"Oh, such a burden, I'm sure. Snogging a new girl every other day. Being adored by everyone."

"Not by _you_, Moony" Sirius said and unable to help himself, Remus turned to see if the pout he'd heard was there, clinging to Sirius' full lips like nothing else belonged on them. "You seem very cross with me."

"You could help, you know. Instead of lying about."

"Helping you clean would imply that I cared if the dorm was clean, mate." The grin was back. "I don't."

"Yes, well." Remus threw a stained shirt of Peter's onto the other boy's trunk. "Maybe you should care." He found an empty inkpot and some broken quills under Peter's bed, as well as the half-finished Potions essay that he'd been frantically searching for a day or so earlier.

"Somehow, though, I still don't." He sighed. "You don't want me to finish my story? God, she was…" He laughed, laying down on his back again. "I'm seeing her again Thursday. I suppose it's good you're cleaning then – wouldn't want her to think I'm some sort of slob."

"I suppose it's irrelevant that you are?"

"Oh be quiet, Remus, you're really no fun. Don't you want to live vicariously through me? My life is frightfully interesting, after all."

Remus rolled his eyes but paused in his endeavor for a moment to talk, taking a seat on the foot of Sirius' bed. "Hmm. Forgive me if hearing about a quick snog in a cramped broom cupboard isn't my idea of interesting."

"No, you'd rather stay here and clean up the room." Sirius kicked the small of Remus' back gently, tossing the pair of socks up again and catching them in his left hand. "If you keep this up I'm afraid I'm going to have to make you wear a frilly pink apron." Remus looked back at him, one eyebrow raised. Sirius' face split into another wide grin. "More fun for me, that way."

"Well in that case." Remus rolled his eyes. "If only I had one to wear for you, then."

"Oh, I'd be _happy_ to get one for you, love." Remus hit his calf hard and Sirius drew his leg up, laughing.

They didn't speak for a moment, Sirius' laughter dying away into a sigh. Remus said suddenly, "You're really bringing her here? This girl? Sneaking her in to… ?"

Sirius sat up, looking at his friend drolly. "What? Ickle Moony-kins want a diagram?"

Remus frowned, irritated. "I know perfectly well what to _do_. I just… She's really worth it, then?"

"I don't think it has much to do with that, Moony. As fun as it is to see if I can get her knickers off before a professor comes by, I like a little more maneuverability." He smirked. "Interested? You know, I'd be glad to ask if you could join us, but…"

That suggestion was a little more than Remus' sensibilities could handle. "Don't be ridiculous, Padfoot, I have no desire to… well, that, with her. Or you."

"Really?"

Remus started to scoff, but when he looked at Sirius' expression he could see his friend wasn't joking. He stared blankly for a moment, willing words to come back to him.

Sirius scooted closer to him, putting his chin on Remus' shoulder and grabbing his sleeve. "I think you're jealous, mate." He traced patterns on Remus' bicep with the tip of one long finger. "It's cute, yeah?"

"I'm not jealous." Remus winced after he'd spoken, knowing Sirius would be able to hear that he was lying.

"Oh. Yeah, of course, right. Not at all." He laughed and moved even closer, his hip against Remus' hip. He'd raised his head up, though, and was looking at Remus through the strands of his messy fringe. "I'm a handsome bloke, Moony. You know it's true. And… Maybe I like anal werewolves with long legs and self-esteem issues."

"Yeah, perhaps you do, Pads." Remus voice was strained. "If they're _girls_."

"Maybe," Sirius said again, his voice hard, insistent. He moved closer still, his hand suddenly on Remus' face, pushing back the hair at his ear. "That doesn't matter one little bit."

Remus didn't even get to raise his objections before Sirius had tugged him closer and pulled his bottom lip between two rows of perfect white teeth. His last thought before he gave himself over completely, Sirus' hands thrilling and cool under his jumper, tracing his spine, was that he was glad they were on Sirius' bed and not his.

No use ruining all his hard work, after all.

* * *

Thanks for reading!


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